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Do Good Manners Really Matter?
Anna Post, great-great-granddaughter of Emily Post, was in town recently on behalf offor Hyatt Place to launch an advice Web site for contemporary etiquette must-knows.
November 7, 2008
Why do
manners matter?
Knowing the right thing to say or do in any given situation is a tremendous skill that will
set you apart from the competition. It’s also a sign of confidence that you can handle yourself no
matter what comes your way, and people what to work with people who are confident. Etiquette gives
you confidence and a competitive edge to separate yourself from your competition. In a recent
survey done by Hyatt Place Hotels, 93 percent of respondents said knowing the proper etiquette for
certain situations would be useful in their lives, which is why we’ve teamed up to offer etiquette
advice to the public at
TheEtiquetteEffect.com.
What is the basic etiquette that everyone should know?
No matter the situation, you should always treat people with consideration, honesty and
respect. Etiquette is all about how two people interact with one another. This applies to Hosts at
Hyatt Place Hotels when interacting with a guest, to today’s professionals meeting with a boss or a
client, and in everyday interactions with friends and family.
What are the biggest or most frequent mistakes made in business?
Not thinking before you act. You’re next words are invariably, “I’m sorry,” and that’s not
how you want to build a relationship in business. Being late is the most classic instance where I
see this happening, and yes: People do notice, and they do care. Show respect for their time—and
your own image—by being on time.
What advice would you give a woman on a business trip overseas?
Look into local customs before you leave to know if there is any special behavior to be aware
of. Image is an important part of any relationship, and when you are in a foreign culture it’s best
to air on the side of caution—be formal in everything from dress to language until you are better
acclimated.
Are there some sure-fire tips on recovering from an etiquette mistake?
Acknowledge the situation and any responsibility for it that might be yours, and then
apologize sincerely. Don’t keep referring to your mistake, but do offer to find a solution if
necessary. A classic example of this might be forgetting someone’s name, an example I cover on
Hyatt Place’s Web site
TheEtiquetteEffect.com
With so much work conducted by email, are there rules a businesswoman should follow regarding
email?
Whether you’re a man or a woman, how you choose your words in an e-mail or choose to use
e-mails in general to communicate is still a big part of your overall image. This goes doubly if
e-mail is the only way you communicate with someone—they don’t have your facial expressions or tone
of voice to go on; they only have the words you type, so choose carefully. E-mails should have
appropriate subject lines, salutations and closings, use full sentences, complete words (no text
message abbreviations), and sentence case. Check spelling and grammar, as the focus goes
immediately to mistakes.
Are there different rules in entertaining for business versus for pleasure?
A: Essentially, no. The only difference might be in how informal and relaxed you choose to be
at your party. This will all depend on your relationship with your boss; remember that an event you
are both at calls for professional behavior. As a guest, the only difference might be in thinking
about a gift for your host, if bringing one. With personal friends, you probably already know
whether or not they drink, but with a boss, never bring wine or alcohol as a gift unless you are
100 percent sure it will go over well.
Are Southerners more polite?
A: No, not necessarily. But there’s a wonderful tradition of courtesy in the South, and it’s
great that so much importance is placed on it there.
What are you doing with Hyatt Place?
A: Etiquette is more important than ever in today’s business world. Hyatt Place Hotels
recognizes this as well and has based their First Place Training on the principles of etiquette—the
same ones that I teach at the Emily Post Institute. Together we decided to build a Web resource,
TheEtiquetteEffect.com, to provide business people
with the same great advice that is the core of the First Place Training program. Here I have
provided regularly updated content, including a column, a weekly poll, and a place for guests to
give feedback on their experiences at Hyatt Place and with the Hyatt Place Hosts.
I also answer some of America’s most popular business etiquette questions, such as how to
graciously excuse yourself from a long-winded companion; how to strike up a conversation at a
business social event where you don’t know anyone; and discuss the importance of a professional
image, from writing thank-you notes to appearance and attitude. Essentially, good etiquette in
business is about building successful relationships, whether you are a Host at Hyatt Place or a
guest staying for business.
