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Stop Apologizing And Start Doing Business With Your Power
by Elizabeth Gordon, Author of The Chic Entrepreneur
December 19, 2008
I
was recently asked by a reporter in what ways women give away their power in
business. I found a current example of such behavior in today's newspaper. Sarah Palin,
former US Vice Presidential candidate was in the news today, apologizing for the fact that the
church she attends was the victim of arson causing damages of $1 million.
Terrible incident indeed, but why on earth is Ms. Palin apologizing for it?
Unfortunately, that is the conditioned reaction of many women when something bad happens, even
though they had nothing to do with it. Reading her reaction of this sad and unfortunate
incident reminded me of an interview done with Ms. Palin soon after the election was won by Barack
Obama. In this interview Palin was asked if she thought that she had cost John McCain the election
- her response was, 'I don't think so but if I did then I am sorry' - again an apology.
Unfortunately this is not an unusual response. Many women and men have become so
desensitized to it that we barely notice it anymore. I have heard several of these easy-out
quips from many smart and successful women, who in apologizing allow themselves to give up their
own power. Such needless and inappropriate apologies for things we either have no control
over or no causality for rob us of our strength and erroneously imply unwarranted blame.
Similar in damage are apologies uttered when backing down on something one believes in,
despite it being socially unpopular. When challenged, rather than holding strong, standing
ground, believing in a stance and committing to a position, some choose to timidly back down and
apologize for falling out of line. Whether in the name of making everyone else happy or just
plain wimping out, when you show that you are a passive person, it shows you lack
passion. Those with more passion know they can always dominate you. If you are
going to go for something, be willing to go all the way for it.
Don't apologize for your personal power. It is in fact your biggest asset, and to let
it go or to not use it is preposterous. It is the best of you coming through, stand behind
yourself and stand heel to heel with other businesswomen who run their businesses with power.
In order to maximize the use of your power, you must invest in it, believe in it, nourish it, use
it and renew it. Invest in your power by spending time, money and energy on personal growth.
Believe in your power, for if there is anything to be faithful to in this life it is to
yourself - to the spirit within you which you are here to share. This is your very
essence. Your nature. Your oneness with the universe. Believe in your power. Worship it.
Share it. Know it as truth.
Nourish your power, for it is what sustains you. It is the gas in your tank; it is
what keeps you moving forward. The better the nourishment, the more strength to propel you to
your goals.
Use your power, for if you do not, you will lose it.
Renew your power; it is of the earth, as are you. When you take good care of yourself, you
tap into a limitless natural reservoir of energy.
How can you avoid the guilt that sometimes seeps in unnecessarily when having to make smart
business decisions during tough economic times? Stay in your power. Stop apologizing for
saying no, for having to raise prices on customers, for having to layoff employees, for insisting
that you are right, for asking for what you want, for not being able to afford as big a Christmas
this year as last year, and for anything you just haven't gotten around to doing quite yet.
We are all in process; we are not supposed to be finished with our growth or else we would be
dying, so mistakes are inevitable, and so are the factors we can't control. But don't you
apologize for a less than ideal reality you had nothing to do with creating. Stand tall, be proud
and share the courage of your convictions. Hold true to your values when you voice an opinion
or idea for without them, the rest of your actions are meaningless.
